- Get out something to write on and something to write with and we will do some history by God!
- Otherwise I will be out patrolling the perimeter and hunting man-eating squirrels for they have tasted of human flesh and will not stop until killed.
- Kill your third grade teacher!
- It's War (referring to AP exam)
- If you want a five take it from someone else (referring to AP exam)
- Let the Indians get the beaver.
- Last week I ran over a squirrel on Madison...does anybody live on Madison?...oh good then nobody in this class will miss that squirrel.
- Civil War - God's Will, WWII - God's Will, No Hair - God's Will
- Some people, like myself, would have no problem killing those uppity snots in Michigan. But other people would say "You're right, John Ace, the people of Michigan are uppity snots, but we don't want to go shooting them in the streets."
- We're(Monrovia High School) just not producing the raving psychopaths that we used to.
- No, no goodies for you!
- He (George Washington) will be bored to death at the Congress, asleep on the dais in a puddle of his own drool.
- Peace, love, bring it together
- At faculty meetings, I see them undressing me with their eyes.
- I'm hot stuff.
- Don't let me catch you mentally undressing me.
- I'm still young. If the opportunity came and someone offered me heroin I would say 'Yeah shoot me up!'.
- That's not sperm, by the way
- That was a collective goosery.
- I don't like the cut of his jib.
- The best feeling in the world is sticking your smooth bayonet into the guts of an enemy of your country, preferably on a cold day when you can see them steam.
- Rusty-"Hello" Mr. Ace- "Hello, Rusty. How are you?" Rusty- "Good" Mr. Ace-"Have a good weekend?" Rusty-"Yeah" Mr. Ace-"Do any time?"
- The most frightening thing about pirates, greater than theft, murder, or rape: Pirate Gibberish! I'm particularly bitter about this because my father was a pirate
- Any of your teachers ever take their teeth out besides me? Here, you can play with them.
- Yep, I beat up a girl in 1984.
- Don't worry, 90% of what I teach up here is true; only 10% is made up on my car ride to work.
- Mr. Ace-Consequently I have never taken a life
Class-Aww... how sad
- The bagel is a symbol of eastern privilege still in the United States.
- I MUST KILL THE INTERCOM BEFORE IT KILLS ME
- T.A. (representing the class of 2003)-We're special in our own little ways
Mr. Ace- You suck in you own little ways
- All chalk is not created equal
- The World is full of lies. Its what's made me bitter and crazy.
- I should be President of the United States
--I would challenge Sadaam Hussein to a duel
- ...and people who defy my rules I fail because I am God
- ...and think of the things you could buy with that penny: mansions, cars, vacations, fuzzy slippers...
- I am not here today
I am actually out sick today
- This is the only class I have ever loved
- There was a point in his life, though disney, didn't cover it, where Dumbo contemplated suicide.
- Look, you have all done it. Except Rusty, You Bolshevik
- Your government is continually screwin' you over
- Do you know how many emergency epidectomies I have performed in this class?
It's in the double digits
- mmm...banut
- We eat doughnuts because in Mr. Ace's class we stick it to the man!
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